No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize