It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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