its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
