Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
