My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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