Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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