it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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