his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
