How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
