Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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