I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
