then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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