dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
