I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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