The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
