Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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