you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Banned from zoo.
Again?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
