Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
