I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize