i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
