why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
