Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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