I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
