Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You made out with two different species that night
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize