I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
