I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
