You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
