just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
