I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You made out with two different species that night
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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