I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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