Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
