I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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