ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
