dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
