i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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