THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
