Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
