Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
