We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
