I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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