they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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