would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
