shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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