Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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