saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
