Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
