he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
