I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
