Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
