Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
