I accidentally burped into my bong.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
