My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize