it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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