There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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