I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
