Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize