I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
