all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
