party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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