ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I am one with the molecules
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
