YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
