Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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