I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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