the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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